Apparently the underline glitch stopped.
But i like the tuxedo Prowl, so it stays.
Yeah it was.
I didn't mean to disappear, I mean well I sort of did. But I didn't plan it, and I didn't say anything, I just stopped coming onto DA.
The site itself isn't really the issue, despite all the changes. I mean every time I submit art it seems like the formatting for everything changes.
Nah that's not the reason i was off for so long though, it was more... I'm a little tired of the community here, not because it's a terrible one but because it's full of people much younger than me, and i'm having more and more trouble feeling a connection.
Tumblr is partly to blame. I used to come on here because it was my favourite passtime and messagesto answer and feedback on art was good and fun and whatever.
Then it just... became a massive chore after a while, probably because I get too invested in shit like keeping messages asside to answer later that I never get around to answering then feel bad for not answering.
I could just, y'know, delete the messages, even though that might be kinda rude. TBH real life and not feeling pressured by a website is probably more important, despite the fact I realise it's not machines on the other end of those comments, it's humans.
That's where we come back to the age gap though. Humans may be the ones commenting, but most of the time the conversations are very... put it this way, it's easy to tell when someone is younger than 15, and there's a lot of that age group on this site. Never used to bother me as much because when i was closer to that age, obviously i was at a similar enough level that it didn't bother me.
But now I'm 25, out of uni, and discovering all the joys of a hardcore world where not knowing someone in a place you want to be employed means no employment.
So when the majority of communication turns into 'LOL omg so HAWT wooo i see robot penis teehee!' or just 'oh mah gahd this si so random i luv u bumblebee!' or 'PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE draw more *insert fandom character I haven't done work related to in over four years*' it gets really... exhasperating, I guess is the word. There's different areas of the fandom i am involved in, and the people in the circles I move are old enough to understand that fandoms are great, but life is a bitch, and unfortunately one comes before the other. It gets increasingly difficult to socialise with people ten years younger than me. Just thinking that makes me feel stupid old JFC.
Shit's getting real, I'm level grinding to level up with the hopes of starting my own business for real.
Lemme catch you up on shit ok.
So when my Masters in Animation was done i thought 'ye boy I'll get a job in the industry, i'll hit up all the sites I know, put together my reel and portfolio and resume and kick this shit and yeah i'll probably have to move to another country but whatevs lets do this'
Fast forward from November 2012 to May 2013 and I had had absolutely zero luck with jobs and I was so broke i had to go to centerlink and go on the job seeker allowance. AKA, the dole. At this point, I was going for jobs indiscriminately, fuck my industries since they were both giving me dead ends. No bites, no interviews, no fucking nothing.
Fast forward another three months or so and centerlink had me doing some stupid ass fuckin job seeker bullshit, I'd been doing unpaid volunteer work and an internship that was getting me nowhere. By this point I'd applied for over 100 jobs and counting. Centerlink has a quota in order for you to get paid assistance.
Finally, in October, I had a government agency, the one my mother used to work for, call me and offer me a job. Fuckin great pay, reasonable hours, close to home.
Needless to say, i took it.
Well, that was great for all of about three weeks. After which i was in a living nightmare. I was a a helpdesk call center operator, part of a large team. But the things i had to learn in order to actually HELP people were VAST DATABASES worth of knowledge, and on top of that I had to learn how to FIND the information people needed.
And the information was not just frivolous things, this was also the payroll helpdesk, we were having to advise people and make sure they knew what they had to do regarding issue with their pay.
This was life effecting stuff. The pressure was high. The training was shit. The people were oversensitive (I dared to ask questions regarding policies that seemed unethical and this was taken as me having 'attitude' ) and I was stressed the fuck out.
I was also a contractor, so they decided last friday to fire me without telling me they were firing me. I got home and checked my emails and found one from the agency they'd made me sign to to hire me that I was terminated as of 5 that day.
So, I find myself thrust back into unemployment, and I've had jack of fuckin dealing with trying to apply for jobs and jump through other people's flaming hoops while they crack whips.
Ergo, I'm now working on figuring out a business plan and starting myself up as a sole trader/freelancer. And if you have no idea how much work that is, all I can say is, A LOT. VERY MUCH A LOT.
But I know this. I am prepared for this. It says a lot about the job market when setting myself up in business seems like the easier path to take than applying to existing ones. At least i will feel like I am achieving something as opposed to slamming my head repeatedly into a brick wall of discrimination.
And it IS discrimination. I am overqualified, I am competent, I am not going to sit there meekly and pretend otherwise. When I am given a job i fuckin throw myself at it and give way more than I need to. In my quest for work I've walked for 8 hours straight and ruined myself to try and get a job done and been paid nothing. I fuckin held on at Gloria Jeans through thick and thin despite how much i hated it because I fuckin needed that job and i knew how to do it damn well.
My work ethic is above and beyond, if I hadn't been terminated from that job, i'd still be doing it because I can't call it quits until i can't physically move to do the job.
I've proven I can learn fast if given the right tools. But no one wants you if you haven't done THEIR specific little job before. No one wants you if you're not drop dead gorgeous. No one wants you when they could hire a cute guy who can't make coffee for shit instead. No one wants you if you don't know someone who works there. No one wants you if they have to pay you an adult wage. No one is prepared to do a little bit of training to get a lot of work ethic.
Because if anyone wanted these things, I would not have spent 12 months unemployed.
So fuck that shit, because I'm going to have to hire myself.TL;DR
As far as hanging around on DA goes, I'm probably going to be popping on and off. I'm going to slaughter the shit out of the accounts I follow to get my inbox to stop filling up with stuff i don't even look at.
Gonna be hanging out on Tumblr more. Same username if you wanted to keep following over there, i mostly reblog shit, occassionally post original stuff, rant on things sometimes, post and rebagle lots of robots and porn, blahblahblah.
Not taking down any of my gallery. I like having everything I've done here sine i joined at age 16 archived. I like to see where I've been and where I've come to, and I'm not ashamed of making that workflow publicly veiwable.
Anyway, yeah, i'll get around to fixing shit up here, I need to do some business research stuff today and sort out my centerlink allowance again so I don't go fuckin broke.
I'm on AO3 - Same username as here.
MY FANFICTION.NET PAGE:
only my Transformers fics are active at the moment. Two of them are over 100,000 words :3
COLOURING IN POLICY: anyone may colour in any of my lineart without asking if they so wish, i only ask you note credit to my lineart and, while i don't insist upon it, i like if you put in a link to the original lineart too, but thats not compulsory.
And link me to the finished product! I love to see it!